This week I’ve been reflecting on how to deal with not being okay. I’ve had an up and down week and although that’s not necessarily unusual for me, this time it definitely got me thinking. How do you deal with feeling rubbish when everybody’s looking to you to be strong and to lead? How do you find the answer when you feel you haven’t got a clue? How do you face the world when all you want to do is curl up and hide?
“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” John Lennon
When is it okay to not be okay?
Sometimes we’re just not okay. It’s just the way life goes sometimes. You’re feeling fine and then suddenly you wake up and everything is hard. You feel low. You don’t really want to face the world. It can be hard to remember why the things you care about are important. Things seem to be unravelling, you’re sad and you’re scared. You’re not sure how to cope and not sure if you even want to. The truth is that it’s perfectly normal to not be okay. It’s okay not to be okay. You don’t need to have all the answers or be strong all the time. You’re only human after all!
Starting, running and growing a business is hard. Being an entrepreneur can feel like being in a car with no brakes on an icy road or being blindfolded and spun round before being asked to pin the tail on the donkey. It can be overwhelming, infuriating and exhilarating all at the same time. The ability to get back up when you’ve been knocked down is an important trait for anyone to develop, but for entrepreneurs it’s vital. Resilience is key because giving yourself what you need is just as important as doing the right things for your business.
If you’re feeling lonely or isolated, worried you might be losing perspective, or close to burning out, then please know that you are not alone. Feeling out of your comfort zone is a common enough experience for many entrepreneurs, but you need to ensure it doesn’t lead you to feeling paralysed by indecision or unable to face the world. Resilience starts with the ability and a willingness to ask for help. If you can combine that with an openness to learning from mistakes and the flexibility to adapt to what the world throws at you, you and your business have a good chance of being successful.
The good news is that there are some things we can do to make things that tiny bit more okay when those difficult moments hit us.
Here are my Top 10 Tips:-
🌟 Allow yourself to fail. Let it be. Sometimes we don’t succeed, so let it happen. You’re not perfect and that’s okay. In fact it can be amazingly liberating. It’s not the end of the world. Life will go on.
🌟 Slow down. Life is busy and most of us have daunting to-do lists. Give yourself some time and space. Very few things can’t wait an hour or so, and most will still be there in a day or two. If you’re lucky they’ll disappear.
🌟 Change your environment. It’s amazing how a change of scenery can help lift our mood. Instead of curling up in bed, get yourself outside in the fresh air. Have a shower, get dressed and move your body. Sometimes that’s all it takes.
🌟 Small steps. When you’re feeling like a failure it’s hard to see anything you can do as an achievement. Instead of worrying about everything you’re not doing, focus on what you can get done, however small.
🌟 Treat yourself. When you’re sad, do something that will cheer you up. Don’t be ashamed of those things that make you happy, even if other people think they’re odd. Be kind to yourself.
🌟 Don’t stay silent. When you hit a rough patch it’s important to let someone know. You don’t have to be strong and soldier on alone. You’re allowed to freak out, stop for a moment and ask for help.
🌟 Make a change. When we’re feeling powerless we can convince ourselves that nothing will ever change. Focus on what you can control. You’re on your own schedule. If you want to make a change then do it.
🌟 Accept yourself. You are who you are. Trying to match up to other people is a thankless task as is chasing someone else’s dream. Accept yourself for who you are and focus on doing things your way.
🌟 Get creative. Doing something with your hands and your imagination is such a great way to slow down and soothe your soul. It can be whatever you want it to be. Take the time to enjoy it.
🌟 Be patient. It’s okay not to have a clue. You don’t have to have all the answers. Sometimes we just need to put one foot in front of the other and take each day as it comes. Trust yourself. This too will pass.
It’s completely unrealistic to expect yourself to know everything or be able to do everything. Please be kind to yourself and if you’d like to talk through the choices you’re facing or any blockers in your business, let me know.
Lisa Zevi – July 2021