This week I’ve been reflecting on the importance of getting clear about what we want. It’s too easy to focus on all the reasons why something can’t or won’t happen, rather than getting clear about what it is that we actually want. As I often say, running a business is a marathon not a sprint. But if we don’t know what it is that we want, how can we know if we’re on track? And if we don’t know what we want then how can we ask for assistance in achieving it?
“If you don’t know what you want, you will probably never get it.” Oliver Wendell Holmes
Do you know what you want?
This week I had a coaching session with a client who wants to take some time off this summer. He feels conflicted about ‘imposing’ on his colleagues and guilty about prioritising his family over his team. During our conversation he realised he was making a lot of assumptions about how other people may or may not respond to his actions. We discussed what might happen if he simply stated what he wants to happen and asked for feedback. What was interesting was that he’d not allowed himself to get clear about what he actually wanted because he’d already decided that it was selfish or impractical. Once we got clear about what he actually wanted specifically then the path forward – simply to state what he wanted, get inputs and make a plan – came into focus.
It was an important reminder to me of the importance of getting really clear about what we want before jumping into the practicalities of how to make it happen. But getting clear about what we want is much easier said than done. If you don’t know what you want then you are not alone. Millions of our fellow human beings are living their lives with no clear idea of what they really want. Success looks different to each and every one of us and so of course does happiness. This only serves to further complicate the process of getting clear.
Here are my Top 10 Tips to help you discover what you want in life:-
🌟 Put yourself first. Chase your own dreams rather than someone else’s. Nobody else will put you first. Self care is not selfish.
🌟 No regrets. No point living in the past or regretting what’s already done. Now is the time to live life your way. Without fear or doubt.
🌟 Communicate. Don’t keep your goals to yourself. Get others onboard to support your efforts. Ask them to hold you accountable.
🌟 What do you need? Rather than asking yourself what you want, why not start with what you need? What are the essentials for you to be happy?
🌟 What’s holding you back? What obstacles are in the way of you living the life you want? What if money, time, responsibilities were not a factor?
🌟 Get detailed. Specifically what isn’t working for you? Why is it an issue? The clearer you get, the more likely you are to see ways to fix what’s bothering you.
🌟 Focus on what you can control. It’s easy to feel like life is happening to us. Taking action and making decisions is a great way of taking back control.
🌟 What do you want more of? What makes you really happy? What fills you with joy and makes your heart sing? Who do you love spending time with?
🌟 Stay positive. Life rarely goes the way we expect. Take a flexible approach to getting where you want to be. Sometimes detours are more fun anyway!
🌟 Talking of fun… Make sure you enjoy the journey. Too many people make themselves put up with being miserable by promising themselves future joy.
It’s completely unrealistic to expect yourself to know everything or be able to do everything. Please be kind to yourself and if you’d like to talk through the choices you’re facing or any blockers in your business, let me know.
Lisa Zevi – May 2021