This week I’ve been reflecting on trust and boundaries. How we manage our own perceptions of reality and how we relate to those around us. What limits we set and how we keep ourselves safe. Do you find it hard to know what’s real? Do you question other people’s motives? Whether you can trust your own decisions? When we’re under pressure or trying to do too much, it’s easy to feel stretched too thin and unsure of where our boundaries need to be. How do we know when and how to say ‘no’? Whether you’re just launching a new business, thinking about starting or in a growth phase, understanding how to set personal limits is essential for building and maintaining healthy relationships. Let’s focus on building a business and a life that works for you.

It is necessary, and even vital, to set standards for your life and the people you allow in it.” Mandy Hale

How are your boundaries?

Many people think of boundaries as rigid lines or walls to keep people away, or separate us from others, but in reality they’re more like connecting points. Even though they can be challenging to navigate, setting and communicating healthy boundaries is essential for our health and well-being.

Boundaries are the separations that humans need – mentally, emotionally, and physically – to feel safe, valued, and respected. They are a way of taking care of ourselves, an important part of establishing our identity and crucial to maintaining good mental health. Boundaries can be physical or emotional, and they can range from being loose to rigid, with healthy boundaries often falling somewhere in between. Boundaries protect relationships from becoming unsafe. They enable us to identify what makes us comfortable or uncomfortable and also learn how and when to say ‘no’ to others. In that way, they actually bring us closer together rather than farther apart. They are necessary in any healthy relationship, whether personal or professional.

When you understand how to set and maintain healthy boundaries, you can avoid the feelings of resentment, disappointment, and anger that build up when limits have been pushed. Learning to show compassion and kindness to yourself is crucial in setting healthy boundaries. Having boundaries allows you to make yourself a priority, whether in self-care, career or business aspirations, or within relationships. Here are my Top 10 Tips for Establishing Healthy Boundaries:-

🌟 Clarity. Get clear about what you need and what you’re trying to achieve by setting boundaries. Give yourself time and space for self-awareness and reflection or talk it through with a trusted person who can help you get clear.

🌟 Values. Your boundaries are unique to you and need to be in line with your personal values and the way you want to live your life. Prioritise those things that are important to you, that bring you joy and fulfillment.

🌟 Flexibility. Different relationships will require different boundaries, and what works in one setting won’t necessarily work for another. It’s important to be flexible and adjust your boundaries to ensure they work for you.

🌟 Evaluate. Boundaries require you to evaluate your relationships in order to assess what is needed to ensure they are healthy. Reassessing them from time to time will keep them relevant to your life and your needs.

🌟 Small. If there are a number of areas in your life that need boundaries, the thought of tackling them all can feel overwhelming. Start small and build up slowly. Allow yourself time to reflect on whether they’re working for you.

🌟 Patience. Setting boundaries is often a ‘trial and error’ process, so be patient with yourself and others. Even thinking about it may make you feel anxious so it’s important to pace yourself and take it one step at a time.

🌟 Speak. Setting boundaries means speaking up, asking questions and stating your needs. This can be difficult at first, but staying calm, respectful but strong will help you set healthy limits.

🌟 Change. One of the most challenging aspects with setting boundaries is that relationships change over time. Some people will accept your boundaries and others will try and find a way round. Be consistent and stay calm.

🌟 Prepared. Some people may continue to push and refuse to accept your boundaries, making you feel uncomfortable. Hold your ground and be prepared to distance yourself from people who refuse to respect your wishes.

🌟 Love. It’s hard to set boundaries that protect you when your self-esteem is low. Give yourself some love, focus on activities that make you feel wonderful and deserving of the boundaries you need.

It’s completely unrealistic to expect yourself to know everything or be able to do everything. Please be kind to yourself and if you’d like to talk through the choices you’re facing or any blockers in your business, let me know.

Lisa Zevi – January 2022